I was diagnosed with autism a year ago, and a lot has changed since then. I have experienced autistic regression, which means that since my diagnosis, I have been having more meltdowns and stimming more often.
At the same time, I understand myself much better. I now recognise why I experience what I understand to be meltdowns, and why I need to be more patient with myself.
I am also better able to accommodate my needs, whether that means wearing a sunflower lanyard or not forcing myself to make eye contact. These are no longer things that are simply blamed on my dyspraxia, as my autism was before I knew I was autistic.
Since being diagnosed, many people have asked whether I would want to be neurotypical. The answer is no.
My autism can be disabling at times, but I have learned to live with it, and it has shaped me into the person I am today. There have been many good days when my autism has made life better, as well as some very difficult ones.
It is something I will always need to accommodate, but those accommodations are a form of support—not a rejection of who I am. My autism helps me be the person I want to be. It is such a significant part of me that I do not know who I would be without it. That is why I would not want to be neurotypical.
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